I wrote the original ideas down early last summer, hoping to later work them into something. Some of the sentiments felt too extreme for my mood now. Some are added as of yesterday. But, love them or hate them, here they are...
Could you please vacate the premises now, I'm tired of thinking solely of you Even some natural disaster half the world away leaves me worried
I wait up all night long for one email To hear from someone I'll never have Then I pass through stages: First a sadness Next, I get over you, Last, I wonder ...How'd I get here?
[ch] All I am is a poet, a dreamer and some **cheap**, poor excuse for a loser **I can't hold my pen, nor write my thoughts out** But every song that I have, I offered you all so freely then
Resist the urge to chase ambulances down Ask them to check my pulse and my breathing "Doc, are you really sure i'm still alive? I thought that i had clinically died"
Haven't heard my heart beat in a while Not that i've checked. [beat] Not that I care I wake up more from habit than of need. I live like some robot trapped in a grid ...Is it my fault?
Every time i pull my mind from the gutter Dust it off, clean it out, and reapply it I have a whole new world to fight alone My sword is broken, but my flag's still there
And every time life moves out without me I go back to my empty apartment sit on the floor, pick up the disconnected phone and announce to the silence my fresh start ... are you still there?
**starred text denotes things i'm not 100% on** but all criticism well accepted. Beats are off on a few lines, too... And i didn't totally hate it. The tune kinda fits with "Kicking the Heart Out" by Rogue Wave, yet another free iTunes song Please Read and Comment, thanks!!
If you've got half a brain, an open mind, and a tendency to say what you think, expect affirmation only from yourself. Expect to nurse your own wounds. Get used to greiving quietly. If you've got half a brain, an open mind, and a tendency to say what you think, pick one of those attributes and drop it. Once you do that, you're bound to fit in somewhere.
Ok... dunno if i wanted to post this, so yell at me if you don't like it. But i was musing the other day on what a girlfriend is, and here's what came of it...
Those who know me, know that this is a, pretty much, non-sexual thing. Also, they know that I'm writing pretty much from speculation, as i've always been single =\ but... i was thinking... Thursday night... about what a girlfriend _is_ exactly, and i basically handwrote two pages worth of it; i'll probably think of more as I go. Umm, feel free to borrow it or whatever, jus gimme credit... not that i actually think people will. So, without further ado, here it is.
“It’s like a monkey-no- TWELVE monkeys have been taken off my back.” “Uh-huh” “And his family… Oh my God, that horrible family, can you imagine…” I began to mutter all the placating phrases I could muster, hoping I could conjure enough variety to keep her from directly addressing me. Luckily, she rattled on until even humoring her was more than I could stand. She noticed the silence and, with what seemed like a new development; what I might call the early signs of tact if I were more optimistic, decided to let me go. She’s neither the villain I’ve made her out to be in the past, nor the martyr that she’d claim. She has and always will be trapped in a vortex of conflicting priorities, excuses, and distractions. None of this is helped by her overwhelming senselessness, and the products of this frustrating concoction are apparent to anyone who’s spent more than five minutes with her. Either way, she’s becoming less and less of my problem, and dwelling on the matter any longer would betray the powerful sense of hope I feel that in a year or two, I’ll have a guilt free excuse to have removed her from my mind.
All ThoseThings You Wish You'd Hear But Know We'll Never Say
Spiritual murder ended our masquerade (masquerade without masks) Ritual suicide you commited to this sacrosanct rule (ritual suicide) common sagacity isn't common in this place (what inspired your race to lose face)
god is dead we heard it on the radio (and that's why you're back) Didn't you tell me I wanted to kill her (my song meant) (I wanted to kill her)
you're back but I cant be sure you're staying Like every other game you've been playing pilfered popularity indulging in animosity then this comforting quality till meeting company
a fast paced ending of our glory days (days we danced in halls) or laying till three on the hood of my car (hood of my car) days slipping away the feeling reaching to hold on (endless hours we thought we could do no wrong)
God is dead we read it in headlines (those days died too) didn't you tell me I wanted to kill you (this song meant) (I wanted to kill you)
They're back but I cant be sure they're staying gone back to the games we once were playing pilfered popularity indulging in animosity then this comforting quality till meeting company
Looked at what they said found I'm not good enough (strive to be everyone's love) tried responding to all those thoughts in you head (found I'm not good to you) But none of this means I'm ready for you to leave (And never think this is me asking you to stay)
God is dead we saw it on tv (but you still kiss me) didn't you you tell me you're everything I wanted (this song meant) (you're everything I've wanted)
I'm back and I'm not so sure I'm staying this could be another game I'm playing pilfered popularity indulging in animosity then this comforting quality till meeting company
"if you cook a man a fish, he'll be yours forever, if you teach a man to cook a fish he'll find some other bimbo who'll do it for him"
heathers eyes widened slightly at her mothers remark. she wasn't so sure what about it suprised her. her mother quite frequently implied that love and marriage didn't go together, but rather, necessity and marriage.
"don't take that tone with me young lady. sooner or later you will realize thats the way things are. you hafta be the most marketable one out there or they'll be no demand for you. lets just hope its sooner rather than later. I want some grandkids before I go to the great beyond."
heather just tapped her fingers on her desk, stopping to check the condition of her newly manicured nails. she sighed a deep breath of annoyance to see that her pinky nail was already begginning to chip.
perhaps her mother was right. so far, she hadn't met a man that could keep his attention on her for very long. sooner or later, some other more fascinating being came along and swept him away from her. something in her wouldn't allow her to believe it still though. love depended upon more than just who was more marketable. she'd like to think the man that eventually fell for her would not fall for her because she was able to reel him in with cooking skills, but rather because he saw something special in her that no one else ever had or ever would. She didn't want love to be about a gimmick, because it wasn't really true then. She didn't want to have to be compared up against other women to be found if she was fit to be made his wife.
"yeah ma. I should listen to you cuz you and dad had SUCH a wonderful marriage" she rolled her eyes and waited for her mothers rebuttle.
"I kept him for forty years though didn't I?"
"what does 'keeping' a guy matter if love isn't there?"
"there was love enough. we grew to love each other. anyways, marriage isn't about love. go ask any priest. its for the procreation of children and thats that."
"mom, I don't even want children"
"not want children? how could you not want children?" her mother said, taken aback.
"I don't know. I don't really like kids."
okay thats all I can write for now. I need to fix it alot, but so far what do you guys think of the dialogue etc?